I’m going to have sex with a new person.
New sex that, most likely, will be awkward. Because new sex makes me feel more naked than being naked.
I will try the things that I have learned to do well, but the responses won’t be the same. They will try stuff on me that is unexpected. Some of which I might like. That can certainly happen. I just won’t be getting what I am used to.
What we know makes us feel comfortable and confident, right? I love knowing that when I do certain things, I can watch my partner drift into a place where they lose all control and just surrender into an orgasm. It’s a beautiful thing. This is not a guarantee with new partners.
I will have to throw all of my tricks out there, hoping something works.
Bodies will have to find a way to fit together, move together. I’ll wonder, why is your arm there? Oh, you want me on top? Be careful with that! It’s sensitive. Ok, now we are switching over to- wait! I need that leg.
There could be expectations that I’m not ready for. I’m not a dirty talker in bed. On text, hell yes, I can bring it. In the act, I’m more of a listener. First time, I’m not comfortable telling you naughty details. I need to work up to that.
Established sex has an element of trust built in. New sex is missing that. Whether it is an old friend or some person you just started talking to on Tinder, it doesn’t matter. This kind of trust can only develop by having sex together.
With a new person, I just have to be as open as I will allow myself to be, and hope for the best.
Then there is the afterwards, and if things went badly, that can be even worse than the awkward sex. We’ve all had that happen! Why don’t they know that I want them to get out already? Or if it went well, it could be just the opposite — why are your pants on already? I haven’t even caught my breath yet.
I’m going to have sex with a new person. And it’s going to be awkward. Or maybe it will be amazing.
It’s worth finding out.